My guest this week is my mentor, my teacher, and my friend. He has trained hundreds of thousands of people around the world, and is a best selling author. He is a huge role model in my life – Blair Singer!
- Blair describes meeting Chris, and how Chris was a little skeptical about the training, and how quickly Chris changed his tune
- We don’t have to listen to the chatter in our mind telling us we can’t do something. There are proven techniques that help tame that little voice
- A favorite quote of Blair’s: “We have a societal responsibility to teach; otherwise we won’t move ahead”
- The value of sharing your failures with your audience
Chris Baran 0:00
How great would it be to get up close and personal with the beauty industry heroes? We love and admire and to ask them, How did you learn to do what you do? I’m Chris Barron, a hairstylist and educator for 40 plus years. And I’m inviting all our heroes to chat and share the secrets of their success.
Well, welcome to head cases. And I, you probably saw me hesitate a little bit there. And the reason for that is, I’m nervously excited about this person that I have on as a guest this week. And the reason is, he’s a mentor of mine, a teacher, a friend. And he is part of the reason why I am who I am today. So he has trained hundreds of 1000s of people across the world in business, and personal development skills and techniques that are necessary to excel as a leader, as a teacher, as a speaker, as a facilitator, trainer and as a salesperson. He’s helped increase their sales by up to 15 to 85%. He’s a Best Selling Author of books, including sales dogs, Little Voice mastery, one of my favorite and his latest, which I love, which is called summit leadership. He’s a major role, he has been a major role in my life in my development, developing me as a facilitator, as a trainer, the things that he’s taught of not just on training, but on life skills, personal development that made me a better person, better father, a better trainer. And I just totally respect the stress of this particular person. So if you guys, so let’s just get into this week’s headcase with Mr. Blair singer.
All right, well, Blair, I’ve said it in the intro. And I must say I am. I think you know, that in your in, in my life, you’ve had a huge, huge impact on on my life, my career, even who I am as a father and a husband, and just from the teachings that you’ve had. So I must admit, I’m a little bit. I don’t know why I talk to you personally, all the time. But I don’t know why I’m a little nervously excited about this one. But I just welcome it is just such a pleasure to have you here. And have you on the podcast. Well, thank you, Chris. I mean, the feeling’s mutual. I mean, our history is a long one.
Blair Singer 2:32
And it started off a little bit adversarial. And then it came, yeah, came came, came together. And as it came together over time, it’s just been an honor, I can just say that the word that comes to my mind is just an honor to work with you and to watch you take all of your all of the brilliance you already had. Okay in your industry, and add a few more sprinkling seasonings that I was able to offer to it and watch you just crush it. So thank you for thank you creating a legacy. Thank you, just so you don’t think that Blair and I for all the people that watching and listening, so you don’t think that we’ve had despites over this? Well, personally, he kicked my ass anyway. The guy does, like 6000 Push ups every day, etc. But the the the the what happened was is that that when he came to teach from our manufacturer, the people who are training us how to train, they found him and I want to talk to you just a little bit about that in a second here. But I want to give the backstory on that is that when they were learning how to train not just me and other artists that were there, but throughout the company, how to be better presenters. I was hearing a lot of this. Oh, yeah, well, there was people crying and there was people upset and and so we went in kind of with a little garden wondering what the hell does this do to Bo? And and I and I have to admit, you know, I remember that when we were there. And if I’m not mistaken, we were in New York City at one of the major hotels there. And I watched you present. And then something clicked about halfway through that or
Chris Baran 4:08
whatever portion it was, but I remember it was just like somebody took a to buy form smack me between the eyes because I was trained in that tell, tell, tell, tell tell mode. And all of a sudden night I just heard you say it’s not what you say meaning that the words aren’t that important, but it’s how you say it. And that that kind of stuck with me that was just this. This moment, this epiphany that happened that let me know the stuff that I was doing before was just the same as everybody else. And it just didn’t work. Right. So I remember that. Exactly. Yeah, I I tell everybody that story and I have to say it was it was life changing for me and I can you tell it a little bit of the story and I’m not sure I’m not going to be lay this by saying you’ll remember every story that you’ve ever told to the hundreds of 1000s of people that you’ve told stuff to. But I, I remember you just telling the people that where was I going with this weird? I think we’re talking about the opening or anyway. So but what happened? I forgotten exact Oh, no, no, what I remember now, it was that the you were just talking about the way that people were trained and where our education came from and why people tend to tell tell tell. Would you mind telling just relating that story about where education actually came from? Well, yeah, I mean, first of all, I remember that evening very well, I think was Halloween, and people were not really even happy that they were there working on a Halloween. Eve, so is, and you were sitting in the back of the room was a long, narrow room was very dark, and I couldn’t see I couldn’t I couldn’t see half the participants. And it was quiet, quiet. And I’m talking and then all of a sudden, out of the out of the darkness came your voice and said, So wait a minute, wait a minute.
Blair Singer 6:16
He goes, you said. So you’re saying that the way you teach is more important than what you’re teaching? So for me, that was the first time that that really coalesced? I mean, I kind of referred to it before, but when you set it up, Chris, not only did it change for you change for me, and it became kind of a guidepost going forward. Yeah. You know, and the reason that reason that’s so, so impactful as an educator, is that we spend eight to 12 years sitting in a chair being told what to do. And it just said to tell, tell, tell, tell, tell tell, we say you know, that teaching is not telling, but that’s what happens in school. So you’re told what to do, you’re told what to memorize, you’re told that you need to take a test, and then you have to regurgitate it. And if you get a good grade, you’re considered smart. And if you’re not, you’re considered an idiot. And that’s basically the first, you know, in terms of education, 812 years of your life that way. So it’s no mistake, then as we started to be teachers, and what are we going to model we’re going to model what we know, which is to divulge as much content as we possibly can. And because if we divulge a lot of content, then people will think we know what we’re talking about. But it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t, it doesn’t get anybody to make a change or a move.
But you know, what we taught what we learned is that they by asking questions, you’re inducing, which is, which is the word education because one of the word a deuce, which means to draw out of, rather than to jam into what you do now and in what we do now is that we take basically the education system and flip it about 180 degrees. In so many ways. That’s one set of telling, it’s asking, Okay, instead of doing it on your own, you work in groups and teams, which is in school was considered cheating. Yeah, but in life, it’s called collaboration, right? So, so it’s the way you teach. In my experience, as you said, that night that is most is most critical.
Chris Baran 8:25
Yeah, and I think when you remember that, all to me was the pivotal point, I don’t even remember much of my education before that, because, quite frankly, I, I was in the half of the class that made the top half possible throat my whole life, simply because I hated being told what that I had to do, and that I had to memorize. And, quite frankly, frankly, you know, memorizing something, so I remember it tomorrow sits on our short term memory. And, you know, to I don’t remember shit after two weeks. So the, you know, it’s a useless forum, right? And I remember you telling the story about where it came from. And our, our, our,
and I repeat this often, and, you know, so I put your name on it. So it better be right. Is how it came from Germany during the during the Industrial Age. That’s right. And we were just taught, they didn’t need to be creative. He didn’t need to collaborate. We just wanted thinker, worker bees, etc. There
Blair Singer 9:21
were two parts of that actually, you’re right. I mean, first of all, our education system was based upon the Prussian system, Chancellor Bismarck, created a first public type school system. And basically the purpose of it was to send people off into battle. Because at that time, the Prussian Empire was taking, taking on the world. And a guy by the name of Sigmund Freud, also from that part of the world, said that the biggest problem that people have are their parents. So combining those two things together, Chancellor Bismarck came up with the concept of something called kin. Under garden, which is German for a garden to grow children, because if they can separate the children from the parents, then there would be no objection that for them to go into battle, so you would learn to pledge allegiance to a flag, not to your family, not to the planet, not to your fellow man, but to the flag, okay, that you would that everything would be by orders, you would learn to follow orders, you would learn to be compliant. Okay, so then, in America, when the American, the American, I think was the Education Act of 1903, or something like that copied that system. And in the documentation of the Education Act, it says, I’ll paraphrase that it’s not the purpose of our education system that we’re about to create, is not to create artists not to create, you know, leaders not to create any of those things, that’s for the elite, special school for them. This is for people to just be happy, do what they’re told, and be willing to follow orders and do that. And that is actually written into the original documentation of the American school system. Wow. You know, and so it’s like, you’re thinking like, Oh, my God, you know, all these teachers, you know, you want to blame a teacher, I can’t even blame a teacher, because teachers don’t even know. They’re just doing their God love them, because they’re doing what they most of them are doing what they think they’re doing to serve people, but they don’t understand as we always say, the context or the environment that this guy comes through is more important than whatever there was more important than the geography, the algebra, or all of that.
Chris Baran 11:36
Yeah, and I think what I love what you said there is that it’s the system that was built in, you know, so for all the teachers that are out there, for people that know, the teachers, we don’t, you can’t blame the teacher, because that’s just the system they were put in, and thank God for the few, the one that just really helped to use what we do know the system and fit it into the system. Like I, I can remember for me go I was I was not good in school. And, and I just but I do remember that Mr. Zaretsky, the, you know, I hated social studies. absolutely hated it. But somehow he would, I never did get good grades, but he could, he could tell stories about and make it interesting. So that you wanted to listen. And it was, it was not about memorizing facts, because if it was in a story, and I could visualize it, then I could remember it. And, and thank God for those teachers, because they’re out there. And I know, there’s many of them that are out there that are hammered by this system that’s still in so
Blair Singer 12:44
I’m just gonna, I’m gonna make one more comment, if I might. And that is this is an all in what happened in March of 2020. You know, in March of 2020, when COVID locked down the entire planet, okay, that what happened is this whole system that you’re talking about, Chris got revealed, got revealed, because immediately all the schools shut down. And and teachers said, well, we’ll use Zoom, or we’ll use some kind of video conferencing type of thing to make this happen. But what happened was, it revealed the fallacy of the school system. Kids didn’t show up, they bombed the Zoom calls, they, you know, they put up pictures of themselves and went out and screwed around and played video games. So it completely is like a turtle got turned up on his on his back with his legs up in the air, right? And what and I always say, people, if they don’t get it, I said, Okay, so I want you to think about the three things that you really want to learn the most right now in this stage of your life, for your family, your business yourself. Think about three things that you really want to learn right now that are important to you. And I pause for a second and I’ll say, I don’t know what you wrote down, or I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I guarantee calculus was not on that list. Okay. I bet you Social Studies was not on that list. You probably wrote down and think about health, well, happiness, communication, parenting, you know, communication, things like that. And I always say to them, I go so where are you going to learn that stuff? And there’s a we 6000 People last week, Chris? And I asked the question, the place was stone so you could have her penny drop in there. Where are you going to learn this stuff? I go, that’s the prop nowhere. You’re not going to learn it anywhere. And so that’s why you and I, you know, we teach our craft, but it’s the way we teach that we’re teaching people how to community we’re teaching people how to operate in teams. We’re teaching people how to how to have a life because where else are you going to learn it? You’re there’s no place to go. Unless it’s us. Unless it’s whoever’s watching this podcast right now.
Chris Baran 14:56
Yeah, and I that’s why I think that that was such a pivotal moment for me. When there was that was that wake up moment I didn’t even know I was asleep. But it just I can remember sitting with the other person sitting beside me with sambia. And I remember we both went in with that kind of negative attitude like, like, we were shit hot, we’re know what we’re doing. Nobody teaches like us. And then we both looked at each other. And I remember I remember I’m pardon my language. I’ve already said a couple of cuss words a few times. But my I remember that Sam and I left that program. And I remember we looked at one another having a beer and we said, I mean, I don’t understand all this shit yet, but this is good stuff. Let’s we got to go out and see how we’re gonna make this work. And we just fumbled our way through it. And I still swear that those notes that we took from that class were dogeared bent, over rubbed, and it was just something that we just ran with. So that print kind of brings me weird. Like, you know, some people, they may know, this podcast isn’t meant for just hairdressers, but it’s listened to it mostly. And I want to talk about how you get into that field later. But for right now, with all this information, what tweak your brain? Like, where did you all of a sudden go? Oh, my omg this is there’s another way to do this to teach this? Where did where did you get it from? Well, it was? Well, and I have to admit, I’m sorry. You get it from implied. You got some information, took it from the person that you’re that’s what I did with you.
Blair Singer 16:36
Absolutely anything that I’ve accomplished is usually is typically been a result of something that was taught to me. I mean, and that’s, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. That’s, that’s, that’s how humanity moves forward. You have teachers that teach other people and they teach and they teach other people. But I remember I was I was living in I was living in Hawaii, I was in my 20s, late 20s. And a friend of mine suggested that I go to a personal development program. What the heck, I don’t do personal development for sissies. Yeah, it’s like that. And I went in that course. And it was a three and a half day course. And on the in the first hour, the trainer stood in front of the room and put up a flip chart and started talking about his little earned the right what he was all about. And I go Yeah, me too. Me too. Me too. But then he flipped the switch. And he said, he says, you know, as victimized by my wife, my ex wife and my boss and Chicago Board of Trade and trade and business partners. I go Yeah, me too. And then he goes, but it didn’t do me any good. It wasn’t until I took responsibly right? So we’re responsibility at the top. That’s when my life started to change. I go What? What? And so it just it was such an open loop for me because I was trained the other way. You got to be the best gotta do good in school, you got to eat, you know, whatever you do. You got to be the best individual on the planet, you know, and not that I was but that was that was the deal. And it’s so flipped it that I went back again and again and again. And again. I got intrigued with this whole thing. And when he started teaching us how to, he says he picked 100 people to teach his course for him over the course of the next couple of years. And out of 100 people there are only two people that survived the training to teach it. Myself and Kiyosaki. We were the only to your best friend. Yeah, and we’ve been best friends ever since. And so it’s it’s this whole and then I started studying Dr. Buckminster Fuller. And all of these influences at slowly because this was this. This thing up here was not bone, it was iron, iron clad, it was like things bounce off, they things don’t go in, right. And, and but slowly is our boring a hole in my brain, I’m going to hold on a second. Fuller says we have the opportunity to live as 6 billion billionaires on this planet. We just figured out how to work together. He says, What are you going to do about it? I’m going well, what am I going to do about it? And I figured, you know, I’m learning this methodology. People just learn how to cooperate code of honors, asking questions, maybe that would make a change. And that’s been the mission ever since that was that was in the early 1980s. And it was that’s been the mission ever since. And the more I do it, the more excited I get. The more I do it, the more I want to learn about it. I mean, I got volumes of how we teach neuroscience, all of this stuff. And it all points to the same thing, Chris, it’s all points of the same thing that the brilliance is already in there. Our job is to pull it out and get people to see it and to do what’s natural for human beings. It’s natural for people to work together. It’s natural for people to cooperate, cooperate. We live in tribes for hundreds of 1000s of years. But you recently in the last couple of 100, we’re taught do it on your own, don’t ask for help, you know, and it just kind of like stripped away the very nature of what makes human beings great. And my experience, that’s an you know, at our stage in our careers, my my whole thing is like, how do I get more people to do what Chris Barron does get more people to do a Chris Barron does, then we leave a great legacy than there’s hope. out there.
Chris Baran 20:28
Yeah. And I know, I mean, because you have transformed 1000s of lives. And, you know, I’m just probably one of the small ones in there. But the reality is, what’s that? Like? What does that like for you? When when you when you see that you powered some people on for greatness, you know, because that’s, that’s the that’s the whole thing that that I think holds people back. So how do you how do you get through to people that when they hold back, what’s the biggest factor that you think?
Blair Singer 21:00
I tried just about everything? Guilt work sometimes.
Chris Baran 21:07
Except on your family?
Blair Singer 21:09
But seriously, seriously? You know, it’s like, I just, I’ve always tried to appeal to people to logic to get to the emotion, I guess that’s kind of been No, I’ve never really answered that question or had that question. But, but as I’m thinking about it, I try to use logic I look if this is not, if A and B and C are not working, then why don’t you try D? Okay, because it because we already know that ABC is not working for you. Okay, let’s try D are you and your Are you willing to be a little bit uncomfortable for a minute or two? And all? I mean, by uncomfort? Are you willing to answer some questions, rather than just sitting and listening and watching a movie? Okay, which is what most people do when they go watch on YouTube or whatever, they’re watching a movie, they’re not engaged, they’re not doing anything. But when you Chris, when you ask them to do something, or you ask them that, to answer a question, it forces the brain to engage in the second part of it is that I am always, you know, one thing I learned about the neuroscience is your, your long term memory will not hold on to anything that has no meaning, which, which is. And so that makes sense. Because we most of us go through eighth 12 years of school being forced to learn stuff that have no meaning to us. So of course, we don’t remember it. Of course, it’s not in our long term memory, okay, and then we’re forced to go to work, the same thing happens again, we’re forced to do things that have no meaning for us. So we had the great resignation, all these people took a break, took a breath of fresh air during COVID. And all of a sudden, they gone oh, wait a minute, what am I doing here? Why don’t Why am I gonna go back to doing that? You know, and, and so I think that, that, that quest to be able to give meaning to people, to get them to you to provide meaning to people, to get them to look at the possible options of how they can make their life better. And if they follow the course, they follow the course they can get a lot better really, really quickly.
Chris Baran 23:14
In what resonated for me real. When you said that was most people, if you talk to them about being uncomfortable in situation, they think that it’s going to be for the one hour, two hour, 10 hour 10 day class that you’re doing. But what I love that you said is just be uncomfortable just for a second here. Let’s answer the question. And I think then all of a sudden, I think everybody goes in, based on they go into a class that whoever’s teaching, or if you go into the class, and you’re just because you’ve done it 100 times, and you know what it’s like sitting in the class, you’ve always got this little fear that’s in the back of your brain, and you’re measuring the class or you’re saying, Well, I got myself into this problem, the last time that I did this, so I’m just going to shut up, sit back, take it in, and no matter and you know, what, Blair? The hardest part is, even when you teach it, is to have that 810 12 years of crap that’s been thrown at you still rears its head still rears its head in my brain. And I, I’ll tell people, I’ll call people on it, that look at you know, we’re asking a question, and I don’t want a right or wrong answer, just want an answer. So I can help to gauge how to help you alone. But the reality is, when I when it’s reversed, and I’m sitting back there, I still catch myself thinking, you know, should I answer what’s going to happen? What will people think of me and, and I think that I remember I also remember sitting in the symposium, and you were talking in there about Little Voice mastery. And I remember again, sitting with my buddy sambia We always end up migrating together and I remember you started talking about Little Voice mastery. And, and I remember you saying specifically, we only have room and I don’t remember what the figure is, I’m just gonna make it up. But I think you said we only I only have room for 100 people and I looked into a room of 10,000 people and I went, just tell me where that where that piece of paper is. And I remember you said that they were on these little tables on the side. And we I remember Sam and I had got we didn’t even know what you were talking about yet. We just ran over and I said, I’m going to take the shift. And I went over and got those papers. And I think we’re even filling them out while while you were still talking. But that was when you were talking about Little Voice mastery. And it that is another thing that changed my life. Yeah. So could you just tell us a little bit about how that impacts our lives, our greatness, our success? Yeah.
Blair Singer 25:50
Well, thank you for asking. Because it’s, it’s it’s pivotal, as you mentioned, I mean, and we talked about little voices. By the way, as I explained this, this is so critical as part of any presentation, because this is the first time sometimes people wake up. Yeah, because I say, everybody, no little voice I’m talking about they go. If you don’t know what it is, it’s that thing in your head that just went well, little boys. I don’t have a little voice. That’s the one. That’s the one. I mean, mine sounds like my mother. How many of you have one and at that point, everybody kind of laughs They raised their hand. And then I go, how many of you have more than one? And then there’s even more laughter? At that point, what happened is, is that all of a sudden, there was a cause they went from unconscious to conscious. Yeah. And I said, so if I were to tell you that that little voice is not the real you. That’s not you. That’s a composite of your parents and your teachers and your preachers and the media and politicians and old experiences and friends, and all that stuff in there and old advice. But it’s not you. I said, there’s a part of you. That’s brilliant, that’s smart, that gets it that’s intuitive. That’s a different part of you the other stuff, or all these other little voices, really, the sit in your brain. And then if you don’t understand I say, Well, how many of you have ever been heartbroken at least one time in your life? Raise your hands. How many of you ever lost money, et cetera? I go through this list of questions. And it’s all fun, right? They don’t get it. And I go, so So let me just show you how this works. So so let’s say you you gave money to a friend didn’t pay back. And now I’m with you. And we’ve been friends for two or three years. I don’t know that you got cheated by a friend. But I come up to you. And I say, you know, a little short on cash, you got about 10 grand, I happy pay back as soon as I can. All of a sudden, what do you think? And then I’ll go on a look, see? Here’s the thing is that all of a sudden, our relationship changes that quickly that we have three, three years of friendship. Why? Because store in that subconscious. And I write down is your little voice. Now everybody know a little voice I’m talking about? Yeah. And so when people say things to you, nine times out of 10 has nothing to do with you has to do something that triggered on their side. And so the whole idea of Chris is that get them to separate that little themselves from that little voice. And at that point, Pete That’s what begins the transformation of allowing person to change their life. Because quite honestly, a lot of people think they’re crazy. You know, and I think I’m crazy. I mean, I know I’m crazy. It’s not a big deal to me. But but but the point is some people go oh my god, I can’t get these boys out of my head. And then I go, chill, just chill. Yeah, it just it just programming. Don’t worry about it.
Chris Baran 28:40
Yeah, because the reality is, is that that little voice is talking to all of you. That’s your subconscious. Your conscious part is the thing that you use just to make a decision every day. Right? You’re still in your head talking to yourself. And you’re talking about the situation. Right? Right. So I know that for me, that was that was some I mean, that that week, you introduced me to that. And then that’s where I got to meet Jason Everett, who’s another been great coach, friend, Greg, amigo of mine, one of your disciples. And, and I think that if people just knew what they could live up to, just by helping to do those exercises for their little voice management, you know, that was that that part’s critical in your life.
Blair Singer 29:24
And you’re right. I mean, Little Voice mastery is it’s a series of techniques that you can when when the chatters is steering in the wrong direction, turn it around in 30 seconds, turn it around in 30 seconds. And just by doing that a couple of times and you don’t have to do it anymore because you’ve read. You’ve reoriented your own mind. Yeah,
Chris Baran 29:45
I remember. Do we remember you’ve taken us through exercises and little boys and I believe it was in that same class where we had you’d stand up and get a partner and you’d have to tell you know, how big are you and then you do another one that was it. Um, you know, I deserve this because then you did all these bragging exercises. All right, and, and you know what, but everybody at the time I think was going sometimes your little brain, your little voice will tell you. Well, this is stupid. This is stupid yet. They’ll go in, they’ll watch YouTube and they’ll see that little, that little girl standing on the counter, looking in the mirror doing morning after affirmation. So I love my family, and I love going to school, and I’m going to get great grades. And yet, that’s the same thing. That that’s exactly what that is, is it’s reprogramming your brain? That’s right. Those are our patients. That’s right. Yeah, yeah. So those are all things that work. And I you know that that has been big, big for me. And it’s, I tell you that even when people go through those programs, I say this wholeheartedly, that when we went through little voice mastery, and some of those things, when they asked you, what do you want to get out of this. And I remember that setting goals. And in six weeks, we ended up earning just over $300,000, based on the course that you were teaching. And and so if just flipping the switch in your brain to reprogram is one thing, and you think I’m a better person. But if you’re money driven, and all of a sudden it see you as you make it, making you a different person, and a different salesperson, just by asking rather than listening to that little voice, I’ll tell you, it makes all the difference in the world. Yeah,
Blair Singer 31:36
I remember that. And I think that I’ve what I’ve learned too, is I don’t think people really even change, I think that really what happens is, is you pull back the onion or whatever it is a little bit. And the brilliance it’s always been there just gets revealed. You know, I had a great teacher, once a great mentor who said, you know, just, if you can find out what works in somebody else and focus on that, then all the other garbage kind of falls away. Whereas I’d spent most of my life when even when I first got turned on to this stuff in the 80s What’s wrong? Let me fix that. Let me fix this. Let me fix this. You know what, it became an endless journey to try to find out what’s wrong, because there’s plenty wrong. Yeah. And rather than Alan Walter said, he says, Look, he says, if you can find out what’s good in the person, where they’re where they’re at their best and start with that, then the rest of it begins to lose its power. But I think that we go through school and school, the whole system of schools, you get handed a piece of paper, and it comes back full of red marks. So all you get back is what didn’t work, what didn’t work, what didn’t work, what didn’t work, what didn’t work, and you’re hoping to minimize what didn’t work so you can at least pass as you know, it’s like it’s just a different way of looking at looking at life.
Chris Baran 32:54
Yeah, and that’s what that’s what I think is so great about the education that’s being that and I know that that in a while I think that depending on who you teach, because I you teach on sales, you teach on personal development, you teach on how to train and and I’ve been part of all of that with you, but some people just know you as a salesperson. But when I remember you telling me the story about an I believe his name was Bo Chang the Oh yeah. The co founder of DHL. DHL, yep. Tell the story about like they were how they’re searching. They wanted to change their education.
Blair Singer 33:35
Well, yeah, it was it was really funny. I was I got a phone call one day in my office from a guy that maybe you guys know Mark Victor Hansen or chicken soup, huh? Yeah, cuz I know Mark And He calls me goes hey, I don’t have time to talk to you right now. You’re gonna get a phone call from a guy named Po Chung in about 30 minutes, just take the call. I say Who is he because I don’t have time to talk. look him up. He’s gonna call it really, really bizarre. So I look it up. I look up Po Chung, and all of a sudden I see chairman of DHL. You know, you retired. You know, I was Holy mackerel. So he calls me and he just as if he’s known me my whole life. He goes, this Blair. I go, Yeah, he goes, okay. So here’s the project. The project is there seven universities in the city of Hong Kong, seven universities. And he goes and they want, they want a bit. They want Him they wanted him because he’s from Hong Kong, to create a business curriculum that really makes a difference. And so every, every place I go all across East Asia, when I ask people about teaching and teaching teachers, your name keeps coming up. So I’m talking to you, how are we going to do this? And that’s how we started our work together. So we’re about two or three years to work on curriculum and with some of the most brilliant minds out there. I’m not sure how well the project took off, but I spent he became he came to all my programs. He went from being a student to being a mentor to being a coach. I mean, it was amazing. But he said something, I might add this. He said something when we came to one of my train the trainer type programs, he goes, This is it. I only mean this is it, because this is it. These are his words, he goes, You know what, Blair? You’re absolutely right. If you’ve had any success in business, it be these are his words, it becomes a societal responsibility for you to teach that to other people. Otherwise, we never move ahead. Say that again. Yeah, say that. He says, if you’ve had any success, and I might even add even any failures in your life, it becomes your societal responsibility to teach that to other people. So they a don’t make the mistakes, or repeat the mistakes, or be that they have the knowledge that moves that everybody ahead. Otherwise, everybody’s got to rediscover everything all over again. But I had that I wrote that down and had for the longest time on my desk and said a societal responsibility to teach societal responsibility to teach. So that’s why I say teachers or leaders, because it’s, it’s critical.
Chris Baran 36:13
This episode is sponsored by the salon associate accelerator from trainers, playbook.com. Are you struggling with the time and cost of associate training? Do you feel like your salon is running you will get your associates on the floor, all with 90% Less time from you. So you can get back to building your business. Get them world class design, finishing color, and client care skills they’ll use every day for the rest of their career, while you focus on realizing your vision, go to trainers playbook.com and get the salon associate accelerator. And now, back to the show. But are you also there was one little other word that you put in there. And that’s your failures as well? Yes, that’s, there’s one thing that I’ve learned from you in, I’m going to be just I’ve told this, I tell it all the time, because it’s true. You alluded to it at the beginning that we are products of our teachers, and we teach how we were taught, because that’s the only thing we knew at the time. And I remember when I first started teaching, I’m not saying the people that taught me were assholes. But the they, they came from a hierarchical position where I’m good, you’re not so good. And you had to build yourself up to my level. And I took that on at the very beginning of my career when I was teaching and through no intention about it. But I just thought that’s the way you taught. And there’s people I’m sure somewhere in the world, it still won’t hire me because of that. But the thing that I learned from you was vulnerability. And you never came, I don’t think you said to be vulnerable. But I learned from you that you would always tell a story. And then how we got there. And then you’d say that here’s where here’s some of the screw ups that have happened. And here’s how it affected me. And then went, Oh, well, if you can do that, then it’s okay, if I screw up every once in a while too. So the the, I think that part that you put in there about teaching, the successes that you’ve had, will create societal change. But so we’ll just being vulnerable, and sharing what went wrong, if anything else, only to let people know that we’re not perfect. That’s
Blair Singer 38:47
right. That’s right. I mean, you said it perfectly is that the reason? One of the reasons that I talk about my mistakes is, is first of all, to let people know that that’s how we learn. You learn by making mistakes, okay, we make more mistakes than we have. We have actually more failures probably than we have successes overall. But each one is a learning experience. So we get better with each one as long as you don’t hide him in the corner. Okay. You know, that’s number one. Number two is that I always say that. If you want to be a great teacher, people say well, I don’t have charisma, and I’m not a good performer. I can’t remember. I go look. Myth number one. You don’t need charisma to do this. What this is it’s not a performance it’s a conversation. I said you can have a conversation with somebody can’t you you go Yeah, well then that’s all this is a little bit of structure around it but but the whole idea is that you have a conversation. But to your point, Chris, you got to lose this worry about what other people think about you. And one of the easiest ways to do that. Just be upfront and honest with what’s going on. That way. You’re not gonna get popped on on stuff you know, purely as a whole. You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s like, which is the good greatest fear, you know that any teacher has, you know, it’s like, what are they? I don’t know, everything is not possible to know everything. And I’m not counting on me knowing everything, but I bet you I can find out the answers. You know. And I think that, that if you’re willing to be honest with people, it’s a it’s a breath of fresh air, you know, brings to mind one of one other quick story is a couple of years ago, I went to the Duck, Duck Duck kumbaya Dharmakaya, sorry, Dharmakaya Tet Buddhist temple, in Thailand, so that one of the largest Buddhist temples in the world. And I had the honor of sitting with one of the senior Buddhist monks there for two days. And it was fascinating through translation. And he said, he wrote a book called train the trainer. And just, interestingly enough, and in this book in he told me, he says, there’s three criteria for being a great trainer. Number one, is your material, what what you’re teaching isn’t relevant. Okay? Is it relevant to your audience? Fair enough. He goes, That’s not as important as number two, which is what you and I already talked about, which is not so much what you’re teaching, but the way you teach it is way more important. And this, he, I’m hearing it from from a Buddhist monk, right. But he said, the third criteria, which is the most important of all, is who you are as a person as a human being, how you show up. And that hit me really hard, you guys, because people just like you said, people, most people just like little kids can see through your pretty quickly. They know if you’re walking the talk, not walking the talk. They know if you’re bullshitting or not, they kind of get a sense or a comfort feeling or not around you. And so the best thing to do is be the best version of yourself as much as you can. And for me, since I have a lot of screw ups in my life, it’s talking about him, because then then the energy is off and appeal. And the other thing that it does is it lets people know like, okay, so if this guy can go screw up and lose three quarters of a million dollars doing bla bla bla bla, I haven’t lost that much. So there’s obviously there’s hope for me. Okay. Yeah. So
Chris Baran 42:11
yeah, it’s just outright disarming, though, isn’t it? Yeah. When you tell them there’s people aren’t used to people telling them how they messed up something. Because they think that there’s this person up there that, wow, look at them. They’re the speaker there. They haven’t messed up, they haven’t done anything wrong. They’re just telling me how to do and be better and be doing have what I want to become become, et cetera. And they never tell the horror side of it. And therefore I just half the time, if I’ve been in those classes, I think, well, there’s no way I can do it anyway. So I’m not gonna even try. But when you tell stories about how you screwed something up, and you help to turn it around, right, makes all the difference in the world, because it just disarms people, right.
Blair Singer 42:55
And I usually tell people, you know, and by the way, I learned how to prevent that from happening. But I didn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t apply it. I didn’t think it apply me. And sure enough, the universe has a way of saying, Okay, you think you’re better? We’re gonna throw you this curveball. Let’s see how you do with this one, you go handle this one. Got it. I got it very humbly, Fuller said, you know, we’re born naked and helpless on this planet. And the truth is, we wouldn’t last 20 minutes without the help of somebody else. And that human beings learn by trial and error. That’s how we learn. And it’s the accumulation of the learnings that we that we make after 1000s and 1000s, hundreds of 1000s of years of mistake making the goddess this far along as it is. But nonetheless, we still deny it. We don’t make mistakes. I don’t make mistakes. I don’t want to make mistakes. You know, it’s just, you know, in our group, like with you and me, you know, we, you know, we share our mistakes. It’s kind of like a badge of honor. You know, it’s kind of like, yeah, that was bad. Let me tell you this story.
Chris Baran 44:02
I remember, I just remember when we’re going to symposiums and things like that in the early day. And we that’s what we would do, we would just sit around and we would tell road stories, horror stories of what what happened on the road when we were doing and do you ever have any of those do like because I even for you talking to me talking to you right now. And I know you’ve told me some of them. But the reality is, most people think that a Blair singer is going to go to a class there’s going to be between six and 10,000 or more people or they’ve all paid like $9 million to go to one class for 40 minutes as you’re going to and but they don’t think about all the the times that you go when something screws up if you ever had to screw up on a session that you’ve been done and paid a lot of money that you were paid a lot of money to do and oh, yeah, those ever happened. Oh,
Blair Singer 44:52
yeah, of course. Of course. I mean, of course they happen. You know, it’s like, those aren’t even the worst. I remember the first presentation Shouldn’t was the most was the biggest screw up Kiyosaki. I decided to do it. We had never presented ever. So we thought we’d do it together. We’re gonna co teach our first live program. 100 people 100 registrations came in, you know, came in and all that stuff, and you’ll have it and only two people showed up for the program. We have a room set up for 100 people and two people sitting in the back of the room. One guy thought it was a real estate seminar, and he left. So as one guy in the room that was that was that was how I started my teaching career. We never even did the program, we figure we take the guy to the bar, have a few drinks and try to sell him something. And that didn’t work either.
Chris Baran 45:41
You got because usually they can smell when it’s a sale. Right, exactly.
Blair Singer 45:43
So I mean, there have been tons of them. I have people stand up and say, You have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re no cheat a fraud. I mean, in the early days, a lot of that a lot of that not a lot of it, a couple big ones. And it took a couple of big ones for me to get through my skull. I had that happen. Once I was just learning it was back in the late 80s. And I taught part of a program and my mentor was teaching the whole program. And I just the room blew up. I had somebody we’re talking about how to make millions of dollars in business and blah, blah, blah, and all this stuff. And, and I did the whole game and the debrief was great. And at the end I said Are there any questions? Guy raised his hand turns out, he was a one of the wealthiest real estate developers in all of Southern California. He raised his he could smell the rat. He goes, Hey, wait a minute, you have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re talking about making millions of dollars. I bet you’ve never seen a million dollars in your entire life. This game was nothing more than a betting game. It’s a cheat skit. I want my money back. I mean, right in front of 120 people. And I I just panic. And I was like, so all I do is to ask questions. So I go I’m sorry, I don’t know. Could you please repeat the question? Maybe you didn’t hear me the first time it was a nightmare was horrible. I mean, people demanding their money back. I lost the room. It was you know, I somehow got out of there. And it was a three day program. That was day two. I go back to the condo, we were staying in my mentors there and he’s watching TV eating popcorn and I go he goes, Well, how did it go? And I told him, You know what he did? Chris. He laughed. He just laughed. He was in hysterics he thought was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard his life. He couldn’t even catch his breath. And I’m thinking to myself, my little voice is gone. I don’t need this shit right now. I mean, it’s like, my worst out my most humiliation I’ve ever felt in my life and my mentors laughing at me. But when he could catch his breath, this is what he said he looked me square in the eye. Because Okay, so what did you learn? Learn? Well, he didn’t tell me what to do. He didn’t give me advice. He just asked the quintessential question. What did you learn? And I go, Oh, martial, I guess I learned how much I still have to learn. Because good. So tomorrow, you go back to class and clean it up. I go. Nope, not doing that. He goes, Yeah, you are good. No, I’m not. I’m done. I’m not teaching ever again. So we go back. I’m sitting in the back of the room. He’s teaching he’s making all good. He goes. Now before we go to a break, Blair has said that he’d like to say to the group. Oh, I know. I got in the room. And he goes, what do you have to say? And I look over and that guy that jumped me was sitting in the same place in the front row. I look over I see him he’s looking at me with a scowl on his face. And I don’t even remember what I saw much of what I said, I looked over at him and I said the only thing I want to say to this group is is this is that Sandy was the guy’s name I go Sandy was right. He said that I never seen a million dollars in my life. He’s right. And I don’t even remember what he said. I said after that, but I just started sobbing in front of the room. How about embarrassing? Chris? I snot coming out of my nose hitting the floor. I mean, it was like, I don’t even know what was going on. But when I got done however long I was there blubbering. You know, it happened I got a standing ovation. Yeah, and I’ve gone to what is happening right now why is what is what is the what am I learning now? And what I learned that lesson that night that morning was that the universe has very strange ways of teaching you lessons. Some people get it with a feather some people get it with a sledgehammer. Some people get a Mack truck that was a Mack truck. I mean, I got run over. And but what I think what it was the people just appreciated the honesty, the authenticity, the vulnerability, somebody that was just real with them. And that changed, everything changed everything. So my look I’m full disclosure who I am right up front, okay, and And I think that those experiences like the worst nightmare of a trainer of any person is to be publicly humiliated. And, um, and the reason I’m telling this story that if you’re a trainer or a teacher or a leader, that sometimes at your worst moments, are your actually your best ones. Yeah, the worst ones are your best ones, if you can just get your brain to hold on to that for a few seconds longer. And be honest about
Chris Baran 50:28
it. Yeah, you know, first of all, thank you. And you said, blubbering, and snot coming out of your nose. And I think you know, where I’m going with this. I remember being in upstate New York at a power training class. And you were, you were coaching all of us on everything from facilitation, to personal development, and how to be better on stage presences and so on. And I think we were on day seven or eight, whatever it was, and this was 12 to 14 hour days. And I remember it was, No, it was, I think, I think it been noon was something happened somewhere around noon, and you were coaching somebody. And I remember sitting there going, I can’t do this. I just can’t hold somebody’s feet to the fire like that. And I remember sitting there. And I remember just putting my head down. And I started sobbing. And like you said, I was using the tablecloth to wipe all the secretions that were coming out. And I remember I just let you remember that I left the room, I remember. And I left the room. And because I couldn’t, I couldn’t hold myself together. And I went for a walk out we had this beautiful place when walking out behind the hotel. And then I went to my room and I did what every grown man would do. I went to bed a rolled up in a fetal position, put my thumb in my mouth and tried to go to sleep to get the stuff to go away. Because I couldn’t get this, this feeling away from me. And my and I’m gonna apologize for anybody who’s about to hear what I’m going to say because it’s a true story. Sam via who was my roommate at the time for that gig. He came up to the room and I was still in bed. And I don’t know if I was just feeling sorry for myself or I needed somebody to say something. I don’t know what it was. But he went, Chris, you need to come downstairs. And I went, No, I can’t, I can’t, I’m gonna quit. I’m not, I can’t do this. And we went through this for about 20 minutes. And then Sam looked at me and he said, Baron, get your fucking ass out of that bed and get down there. People are worried about you. And so I kind of did my thing. And then it went down. And I remember I got down there just in time for graduation. And I remember what was the theme song from the theme song from Lion King was playing those candles in a room. And I started to melt down again. And and then I remembered that I kept No this was before after. But I said I have Blairites that I have to talk. And we went we went outside and we talked about it. And I just said I don’t know if I can and so on. I don’t remember all of the conversation for there. But I went through the motions. But here’s the part that I’m getting to and what I’ve learned about what happened to you there. And what happened to me at that moment is that it was probably about three months later, and I was put into a situation not worth going into but I remember being put into a situation where I had to control all these hairdressers and get all the people from from a major city together and get them to share stuff. And it went off like a charm. And I just took control of everything. And I just remember the those people booked me back in to come and do two or three more of those. And I remember that way that that night, because I think was flying out later that night and the the consultant drove me to the airport. And it was very silent on the way because it was just it was a good feeling after it and we chatted for a little bit. I dropped me off and I think I still had 3040 minutes to wait. And I had your phone number. And I remember calling and I heard this boom, boom. And I went oh shit. He’s in Europe or in some continent somewhere. And I remember that when I left a message and I remember that message was, Blair, I take back everything that I said that night is that if you wouldn’t have put that group and me through those paces, I could have never survived today. And here’s the point that I’m getting at is, sometimes, when we’re going through a breakthrough, we’re having this moment that if we can get through it, we’re having a breakthrough to get through the other side. If I would have copped out, I would have never got the breakthrough, I would have never got to the other side of that. And so that was another thing that cemented having, you know, admits he always talks about having heroes in your life, and you’ve always been a hero to me. And, and that’s what I always try to emulate with other people is that if you can hold your feet to fire and but yet know that you and them can be courageous enough to do it at the same time. Yeah. And know that the safe to do so. And I thank you for that.
Blair Singer 56:01
You know, you’re welcome. You’re welcome. It’s an honor. It’s an honor. Not everybody goes through those kinds of epiphanies, either I, you know, I think when I’m listening to what you said, and this time again, I look at when my meltdown, will say, Well, do I have to go through a meltdown to become who I want to be? The answer is absolutely not, you don’t have to it just that. People that are stubborn, thick skulled resistant, think they know better and have a strong ego takes a little bit harder, it’s a little bit harder to get through. But when you finally get it, and for me, it’s like that moment of awesome of unbelievable responsibility. Which is exactly what you just said, because that was the exact thought I had that night, I wanted to quit, that’s it, I’m done. I’m never going to do this, I can’t do this. Okay, when I got jumped, and what you said is, that’s it, I quit, I can’t do this. But you did. Because there was a part of you, that understands the awesome responsibility of what we do, which is teaching now, not everybody’s meant to be a teacher. But I will say this is that that so many times in my life, all of us, everybody, you want to quit, you don’t want to do it, it’s too hard. It’s, it’s all these other things. And what what holds you back in? What keeps you going. And if you can begin to isolate what that is, then the next transition is a little easier, a little easier, a little easier. Back in those days, Chris, I apologize a little bit, because, you know, we were just, we were just doing whatever it would take to get ourselves to get to the other side, as you call it. Now, with limited knowledge, now, your knowledge, my knowledge, our knowledge is much greater. And you know, and it doesn’t, it doesn’t have to, it doesn’t have to hurt like that. But I’ll tell you what, I wouldn’t take it back for all the money in the world. Never, ever, ever, because it’s it changed my life. And it forced me and it got me to see that the amazing responsibility. All these people all all the trust that they put in you, all those students, all those 1000, hundreds of 1000s of students, millions that put their trust in you and put their trust in me, that’s a big deal. To me, as a teacher, you know, and so all I want is, I just want to be the best, I want to be the best blessing that shows up today. You know, and whatever that’s going to take to do as long as it’s legal, ethical and moral to do that. And I, I’m just blessed that people like you have come into my life, that have gone through some of those transitions, and then have taken the message of how we teach the way you teach and who you are as a person and just spread it through an entire industry, you know, and it touched so many lives. It’s not important that they know where it comes from it just important that they do it. That they do, because if we do
Chris Baran 59:07
well, you know, we all win. Every time that and again, this is what I always say I’ve learned so much from you. But I always learned every time you learned something you always gave credit to who you got it from. And so I’ve always I’ve I’ve always brought that in and I because I think that I remember when I first started out I remember Doug Cox was motivational speaker and still a good friend of mine. I remember that when I first started on the road, he would go on stage before me standing ovation every time because he’s, you know, motivational speaker getting everybody whipped into shape and, you know, people crying in the audience and then I would go out and do a color technique. You know, and I remember it would freak me out because I I would go get ready to go on stage and he got a standing ovation I go shit now little Mary Behrens boy Chris is coming on stage to teach him called color technique or perm technique. And I would go, okay. And I would always that little voice at that time would destroy me. And I remembered bringing this up in one of our meetings that we had after. And I just said to him, Doug, how do you number one? I don’t know what you do, I want you to do it, I see you do it. But how do I get over that thing with the audience? And he said, Julie, easy, Chris, just walked on stage, just say, as my good friend would say, you know, he said, just use my name. And, and then you’re my friend, therefore, you have the power that he has, you know, so I don’t think we none of us knew about Little Voice management at that time. But that was that was something that helped me really read along. And I always, if you learn something, we learn from our teachers, you give credit to your teachers. The kind of I don’t know how I’m gonna segue into this. So I’m just gonna go out right there. This is this book has been sitting there, and this summit leadership. And the reason why I I’m after reading the book, it really is all based on your trips to Kilimanjaro. And, and and I would love if you would relate the story of your first climb and where that came from with your son. And the messages that you got out
Blair Singer 1:01:36
of that. Yeah. Happy to happy to. Yeah, so summit leadership is a is a combination of an adventure story, a true adventure story of climbing Kilimanjaro 10 times 11 times I think I wrote it and also of how it applies to your business into your life. But the way it happened is back in 2012, I decided to go to Tanzania with my my six at that time, 16 year old son Ben to we wanted to do some community service together. So I went to go do community service there. We found a great company to take us there to do that. And part of the deal was you climb Kilimanjaro? Well, so I don’t know how well we train. But first day on the mountain fine. First night, my son got violently ill I’ve never seen somebody get this sick. I mean, vomiting uncontrollably. It was partially altitude, I think some medication that he had taken for yellow fever or something. And maybe the food I don’t know, but he just couldn’t stop. I’ve never all night long. We’re trying to get him healthy again, wrap him up because He’s shivering next morning. The team has to move on, right? So I said, Ben, can you go he goes, I’ll try. So we were hiking. The next morning, he’s going really slow. He can’t put anything in his system because it immediately just comes out again. So about an hour into it. We stopped to take a break. And we’re just above the cloud line. Right out of the rain forest. I’ll never forget the scenic. I call it Ben’s rock his big flat granite piece of rock that we’re all standing on. And I look over it. And I go Ben, can you make it and he’s leaning on his hiking poles and he goes dad, he goes, I just want to go home. I’m looking he’s got yellow rings in his eyes. I mean, it was it was just horrible. So I’m looking at him. And I can see the summit now five days away, but I can now see it, you know, off to the right. And the lead the lead guide says what are you going to do? Because the protocols you can have a porter take him down and they’ll take them to a clinic or something like that I could continue to climb and see in six days later, but the thought of sending my 16 year old down into a Third World. Swahili speaking country did not seem appealing, but it’s like my little boys gone but you came here to climb you came here to accomplish I mean, you set a goal you get it you set a goal. What am I gonna do? I don’t know, this didn’t take a long time. But I remember looking over the cloudline What are you going to do Blair? And it’s like, oh, I mean, I’m just being honest. So if there’s any mothers listening to this right now you’re going What do you have some kind of a Neanderthal Creek okay, but I’m telling you this is the truth for me. And so and then all of a sudden my little voice kicks in and again just excuse my language. What do I do what I do and then all of a sudden my little voice goes hey, you wrote a book about this You asshole team code of honor team code of honor never been made in need. I go okay, I got it. I got it. I’ll take him down. I made a decision with a porter we take him down. Take him to us. took eight hours to get down the mountain it in an hour in the back of a van and into this little clinic which is a two bedroom, one bath little place in a neighborhood with four beds that were really massage tables of which two are occupied. They lay him down and put an IV into him. 18 hours he’s out. And I just they said, they said, No, we got to keep them here I go, you’re not going to keep him here. This place is flies. There’s animals running around. You can’t do this. They go nope, he’s too dehydrated. Gotta stay. I go, I’m staying with him. I lay down in the in the on the table next to him. We fell asleep. Next morning about dawn I hear. Outside the window, Rooster. I opened my eyes. I look at him. Open my eyes. I’m looking at him. He opens his eyes and he sees me laying there and he gets this big smile on his face. He goes back to sleep and I’m going Holy shit. I actually made the right decision. I guess I could have made a catastrophically bad decision at 10,000 feet for all the justifiable reasons. Oh my God, thank God code of honor. I carry a code of honor to protect me for myself. Okay, yeah. So we went home. We went home. I never thought I’d go back six months later, he goes, Dad, we gotta go back. I go. Let me go back. He goes, there’s not a day. I don’t think about that mountain kicking my ass. I go. Okay, well, we went back. And on July 3 2013, at 11:30am Tanzania time we hit the summit together. You know, we laughed, we cried. And we hugged and it was like, we made it all the way to the top with our with our team and I had a little back I a little gift for him. Chris, my backpack was a keychain with a engraved pendant. And it said on the front, it said to Kilimanjaro. 2012 2013. And on the back it said it so we start together. We finished together. And I will always have your back that I gave it to him changed everything Chris, I was ready to quit, he was ready to quit. But because as you said, we pushed through it together. Change I learned I didn’t it wasn’t about climbing a mountain after all, it was about learning how to be a father wasn’t about even learning how to be a father was learning that there’s things bigger than mountains called love. I didn’t expect to learn that at Kilimanjaro. And on the way down on the way down or so many lessons I had in my journal book I go, I gotta share this with other people. So every year since then, we created a mountain leadership team, which would go up, they take students that want to go, they’re willing to train and we go up to the top of rigor in four weeks, we’re going to be there I’m going to be submitting for the 12th time, the 12th time. And every time at the end of each day at each camp. What lessons did you learn? How does it apply to your life. And so the book, long story short the book is because of my son get you It happened because of my son getting sick. And out of that adversity out of that problem came magic. But had I quit, there would have been no magic. So the book is a live experience of going of somebody and Kili. And what I always say is Matt leadership is like business leadership. Every day, every decision that you have to make in your business and in your life is mirrored at some point on that mountain. The only difference is you only got six and a half days, you got to deal with it right now. You don’t have years to play it out. And so it’s goes back and forth, and back and forth. And back and forth. They get those lessons I is the most fun book I’ve ever written. And it’s probably the most impactful one. Because the final story of of Summit leadership, it’s never about the summit. Every climber will tell you it’s never about the summit. By the way, the summits only halfway you still gotta get down. But the other part of it is it’s not. It’s the summit, you just go up there, take a picture and you’re gone. Okay. The whole idea is the summit is a magnet that pulls you up there and the but the ripple effect or the processional effect, I’m all the people you meet the things you learn, the lessons that are given to you. And up there feel is a very spiritual experience. For me. The lessons and the messages that come through are amazing. Amazing. And that’s what the book is about is those lessons and how you can apply them and thanks for asking. I I’m all fired up. I’m just ready to go again.
Chris Baran 1:09:21
Yeah, well, you know, the, the what I loved it that I think in there, you in the book, you talk about the protocols. And I think when in in the code of honor, we are always talking about the rules that we all make together so that we can live work and have reasonable relationship as we’re going through our work life. And I think that word protocol really changed when I read that in there for me because I think that those people that like a rule breakers or say well that’s just a rule that bla bla bla but when you start a protocol is something that you do for the right reasons so that everybody survives, you know, and I When you when they’re when you’re talking about the mountain protocols are, they’re equal to your business protocols that you have. And I think that’s why in our business, there’s so many people that lose their state lose their team, well, everybody’s going to lose their team at one point or another for whatever reason, but you know, it’s on good or bad terms. And if people know you do the right thing, yeah, then, you know, that’s your protocol that you’ve set up in advance, if you can’t live by the protocol, then you should get there.
Blair Singer 1:10:27
One of the protocols on the mouth is pounds is an expression says pounds equal pain, which means as you go up in altitude, obviously becomes more stressful. So if you’re carrying a lot of weight on your back on your backpack, it becomes more and more difficult to move ahead to move up. So what’s the solution? So the protocol is to lighten your load early, okay, and to keep your load light so that you can continue up. And so what’s the lesson there? Well, the lesson is this. Everybody’s concerned about goal setting. But maybe before you do goal setting, maybe you should take a look at well, I’m going to be spending, for example, the next three weeks doing is calling back the things I want to take with me, I don’t need this, I don’t need that I don’t need this, I don’t need that, up until the very moment we leave to go up that mountain, I’m trying to lighten loads because I’m used to having all my luxuries and having all the things I want around me now. So so that’s a process that’s a protocol is to lighten the load. Otherwise it will you will suffer as you try to get to your goal, right. So for us, that’s not just lightening what’s on your backpack in business, those are people that you’ve been carrying around that you maybe you shouldn’t be carrying around, it’s attitudes that you’ve been carrying around. It’s old thoughts, old assumptions, old belief systems, you know, old ways of doing things that that will only hinder you going forward. So I tell me when do new when you don’t do New Year’s resolutions, sit down and make a list of all the things that you want to get rid of that you don’t want to take into the next year with you start there? So that’s a protocol that I got from the mountain.
Chris Baran 1:12:07
And that is so I mean even I’m having epiphany is just as you say that right there. Because I think that’s the thing we tend to hang on to everything for so long. Layer i mean i I’m trying to with even think right now, how do I take my teacher, my hero, my friend, and try to pack in all the stuff that I would love to be able to chat about into one episode in one hour. And it’s I just come to the realization it’s impossible. But at the end, I want to do this with you. We always call it what we call a rapid fire. Just I’ll give you some stuff and just quick one word one sentence answers. Okay? What turns you on what turns you on in the creative process? In other words, when you’re trying to come up with something that’s new stuff that you’re going to add to a program etc? In that creative process? What? What turns you on?
Blair Singer 1:13:05
What turns me on is being passionate about what I do. First of all, the second thing is to be out in nature. And the third thing is being around other very cool people that that three way combination, I learned through COVID Because when I lock myself down and do all that other stuff, it’s it just does not work for me. I gotta be out free and with good people.
Chris Baran 1:13:26
Yeah, yeah. And what’s that? What stifles it for you?
Blair Singer 1:13:30
The opposite being locked down in a padded cell? Like I’m in my studio right now, but it’s like I gotta get out of here a little bit.
Chris Baran 1:13:39
Okay, in the event of an event that you that you love something like that. I’m sure there’s many but one this standout one that you did. You did you You did an event and it was just an OMG factor.
Blair Singer 1:13:54
Well, you know what there are there are a lot of them, like you said, I’d say, and my long term memory is weak. I will say that the one I did last weekend was the best the best so far. And it was the best so far as one as a big audience. It was right in my strike zone. And they were and this is a group that had never responded to any questions any time had no clue about Little Voice mastery. My perfect audio.
Chris Baran 1:14:22
Okay, and the in life in life in general. What do you dislike the most
Blair Singer 1:14:30
dishonest people that don’t tell the dishonest people period?
Chris Baran 1:14:35
And what do you love the most?
Blair Singer 1:14:38
I love people that are real and that are present and that care.
Chris Baran 1:14:44
A person that you admire the most?
Blair Singer 1:14:48
You know, it’s like everyone, always always questions like who do you like the most? What’s the one? There is no one there is no The best there is, there is this amazing tribe of leaders and you’re one of them. You’re one of them. And yeah, so the people that I admire the most are not the people that have made it. It’s the people that are working process is the people that are making they’re helping other people make it. Those are the people that turned me on the most.
Chris Baran 1:15:21
Well, I’m going to end right there. No, but thank you, who is there somebody out there in the world are the ones that you still wish? I mean, you’ve been on stage with the greats you’ve, but is there a person out there, you’d still love to meet?
Blair Singer 1:15:39
I didn’t think so until like I said, at this conference, and I met three or four amazing authors and speakers that I was just in awe of what they learned and had the opportunity to spend some time with them. So I just love learning. So anyone that I can I can meet that has that has taken a topic or a subject and really delve into it. That’s what I love being around those kinds of people.
Chris Baran 1:16:03
Yeah, no, I agree. That’s learning as at all. What is there something that about you that people don’t know,
Blair Singer 1:16:12
at this stage, at this stage? Probably not. But I think the one thing that people may not know about me is that I feel very, very, very, very deeply. I’m a very emotive person, I cry a lot. I yell a lot. I’m quiet a lot. And I run around screaming at myself a lot. And I and you know, I wouldn’t have it any other way. But that’s, that’s just me. And I’m not afraid to tell people about it. Because it’s all part of who I am.
Chris Baran 1:16:48
You’re a workaholic and as as as a lot of us are. But if I go like that, and I give you a month off, what would you do? Where would you go?
Blair Singer 1:17:01
I’d find some project to take on.
Chris Baran 1:17:04
That’s me to
Blair Singer 1:17:06
get I think I’d be good for about an hour and a half on the beach.
Chris Baran 1:17:11
We were sitting in the pool yesterday, and I was going I got this other project. I should start on that computer down here. The thing is, there’s something anything that terrifies you.
Blair Singer 1:17:26
Yeah, I think what terrifies me at this stage of my life, actually, is the fact that the things that I’ve created, or the things that I’ve set out to do, may not happen, or that they are that there’s no legacy to what we’ve created that that really does. And I never thought that would ever happen. It just happened over the last couple of years. I started thinking about that. Wow, how many years I got left on this planet and what’s that gonna look like? Right? It’s like that point. I just I start fear came up that and so I got very motivated to drive harder.
Chris Baran 1:18:03
Yeah. Favorite curse word. Favorite curse word. Fuck. Favorite
Blair Singer 1:18:16
filet mignon. Oh, a filet of beef tenderloin nice.
Chris Baran 1:18:21
If you had one do over in your life. What would it be
Blair Singer 1:18:29
I probably would have invested in Apple stock or a long time ago I think there might have been a do over but other than the rest of that stuff. I wouldn’t I wouldn’t change a thing quite honestly I wouldn’t change at this point. wouldn’t change a thing?
Chris Baran 1:18:45
Or just last question? If if there was for the people that are watching or listening for whether whether they’re in industry or not, if there’s something that they should stop doing or let go of what should it be?
Blair Singer 1:19:07
Well, I the first thing comes to mind I would do my best to let go of your concern or what other people think about you. That’s the for me, that’s for me personally, and what I’ve watched that’s the number one killer of dreams. It’s the number one killer of self concept of self esteem and peace of mind. Yeah, just let it go. Yeah, because you think they really care and even if they did for a moment, they don’t they really don’t care. You’re the one that cares.
Chris Baran 1:19:37
Blair I don’t know if I can gush any more about you. But I just want to say thank you so much. You’re always so giving of your time, your knowledge, your wisdom. And I just want to thank you for your time that you spent with us here on head cases.
Blair Singer 1:19:53
Well, I love it. i By the way, I love the title of this program. Hey case. So appropriately, you
Chris Baran 1:19:59
got to be Mike, we do.
Blair Singer 1:20:03
That’s true. But But thank you, but thank you, Chris. Maybe we can do it again sometime I’m open to that for sure. And just thank you for doing what you do. I mean, it’s I know it’s a trite expression. But I know what you do and I see the influences of what you do. And while we don’t speak all that often, as often as I’d like to I just know that your influences is far and wide and global. And a lot of people are moved by what you do. And I just, it’s, it’s kind of like a brothers in arms. Yeah, you know, and just thank you for doing it. Thank you for being one of the good guys.
Chris Baran 1:20:38
Well, thank you for being the instigator of all those messages. So Blair, one more time. Just thank you and it’s been a pleasure and honor.
Blair Singer 1:20:46
Thank you, Chris.