For the first time ever, I have a returning guest this week. I had to have Jerilynn Stephens on again to chat about her book “The 5 F Words to Manifesting Your Life”.
Let’s chat with Jerilynn about the 5 F Words:
- Fearless
- Faith
- Feel
- Figure
- Focus
Complete Transcript
Chris Baran 0:00
How great would it be to get up close and personal with the beauty industry heroes? We love and admire and to ask them how did you learn to do what you do? I’m Chris Baran, a hairstylist and educator for 40 plus years, and I’m inviting all our heroes to chat and share the secrets of their success.
A welcome to head cases and today’s guest is a 10 time Emmy nominated and four time Guild Award winning hairstylist. She is the key hairstyles for the voice and Shark Tank, the tough times in her life, gave her the realization how to change the path of her own success. And she documented how to do it in her best selling book, The Five F words to manifesting your life. It’s a message worth hearing, and implementing. She is the first person to do a doubleheader on head cases. So welcome back. Jerilynn Stephens. Jerilynn, it is great to have you back. And I want you to know, I said this in the in the announcement as well that we into the into your intro, that you’re the first person that we’ve done a double A double double with, you’re the first one that’s been back on as a repeat this because we loved what you were talking about so much prior. So welcome back.
Jerilynn Stephens 1:27
Thank you. I’m so honored. Thank you.
Chris Baran 1:29
No, well, let’s listen, I know we didn’t get a chance to talk about the book. And that’s really what we want to focus on here. And you know, it’s really interesting because you know, those for those of you watching right now you’ll see it but for listening. I’ve got the book up right now, the five F words to manifesting your life by Jerilynn Stephens and Jerilynn and I constantly prom I guess I got somebody in my life. I have somebody my maiden name, Marilyn and I keep grinding it. So I apologize. Jerilynn
Jerilynn Stephens 2:00
said my name is like Marilyn with a J Yes,
Chris Baran 2:02
exactly. So thanks for letting me off the hook. But you know, Jerilynn, I talked to so many people in our industry, that beauty, the beauty industry. And it so often I talked to them about and they are always saying they don’t feel that they’re get what they really want out of life. And that’s where, again, that I really think that that that your book really helps people to get what it is that they want. So how did it like? How did this? How did the book came about for you? What kind of revelation or whatever happened? What didn’t What happened to you on that path?
Jerilynn Stephens 2:39
So how did I decide to write a book? Yeah, like how
Chris Baran 2:43
did like where did this come from to start with?
Jerilynn Stephens 2:47
Um, okay, so do we want to talk about how I got into, like, the whole law of attraction, or we don’t want to talk about like, the book actually came about? Well,
Chris Baran 2:58
I mean, I think that there’s, I mean, we were talking beforehand, but like, what happened? Maybe let’s try it this way. So what happened? What happened in your life? That to make you shift your mindset? And then how did that turn about to turn it into the book?
Jerilynn Stephens 3:15
Oh, that’s a really good question. Um, so when I was 33, I’m now 54. So when I was 33, I hit a complete rock bottom with alcohol. And I was so desperate to feel better. And I didn’t know what that looked like, I didn’t know how I was going to do it. But I first you know, got a 12 step program. And then I started hearing, I was working in a barber shop on Sunset. And I heard three times in that week. You should read this book, excuse me, your life is waiting. And I was like, That title is exactly the book I need. And I and the third person who said it to me, I was like, That’s so crazy. I heard it three times this week. And he said that you that means you’re supposed to go buy it, right? And I’m like, okay, so I went down, I bought it, I read it, I read it like so quickly. It was talking about you know, the law of attraction and how to feel it your life already existing the way you want it to. So I was that was really hard for me, honestly, because to feel for me was I would rather not write you know, I would rather drink and not feel so that was, you know, something that I really had a challenge with, but I forced myself to challenge myself to feel and feel I knew I wanted to be in Hollywood doing hair. So I started a mantra because the book said start a mantra. And I started my mantra was, I am a Hollywood hairstylist. And I even like smile now, because I am a Hollywood hairstylist like that is me. And I even have my instagram handle Hollywood hairstylist because it has such deep meaning to me. And so it was just like, even though I didn’t have it in that moment, I just kept feeling and saying it, and like what it would feel like when I actually get that big job that changes my life. And so within, you know, I put it to the test, you know, and within two months, I got the job that changed my life forever. You know, and I mean, it was just incredible. So throughout two decades, I guess it was 3343. No, maybe 18 years before I wrote the book. Oh, yeah, it was 18 years, I guess. 33 to 49, whatever that is, right. 72. I can’t do math, the
Chris Baran 6:14
mapping for me too. So we’ll just leave it to the powers that be? And we’ll call it an even 20
Jerilynn Stephens 6:19
a long time. Yeah. It was a lot of practice. So, um, you know, I did a lot of self help. I read so many self help books throughout, you know, my sobriety. And I just started, like, really figuring out what I wanted, and focus and fearless while I added the fearless, but I took action. Because when you take action, the universe is like, Oh, you’re serious, right, we can sit here and write all we want. And that’s a part of what you do, too. But if you don’t put action into what you want, it’s gonna happen a lot slower. Right? And I’m impatient. So I put action and and then you have to feel it existing and have faith faith that it’s going to happen and that you’re worthy. Because that was a big thing. I didn’t think I was worthy for a long time. So I really had to trust and, and find myself worth, it was a lot of work on my part. But as far as like the five F words, it’s rather easy. If you just do it.
Chris Baran 7:34
Yeah. Let’s start just at at number one. And I even want to go I want to go one step before that, because I read the book. And for anybody that that is reading it, what I love about it is it’s a fast read, you know, I can go through it, I get that I get what I have to do, the fluff is taken out. And it really is a matter of fact and to the point but I there’s something look ahead. Because
Jerilynn Stephens 7:59
that was so important to me. I read a book on my way from LA to New York, called the seven spiritual laws of success by Deepak Chopra, that, that that book was like 99 pages, it was small. And I was like it. I don’t know why I said this to myself. If I ever write a book, it’s going to be fast. And to the point because I felt so good. reading that book. And I so that was when I went to go write this book. I’m like, it’s got to be fast. I don’t want any fluff words. Like I want it direct. And to the point. I had a coach, a writing coach with me, Suzanne malt, Suzanne Mulroy. And so her and I really collaborated together and I’m like, oh, take out that word. I don’t even know what that means. You know, so it was supposed to be for the beginner. Right?
Chris Baran 8:50
Yeah. And the the I love where this is going and I, in your introduction you use you use the word. There’s two things I want to get to in here, use the word, dream big, or dream big or don’t bother. And I just want to read this read a quote in here that I’ve got got this all highlighted in here, because this really meant a lot to me personally, because I think that so many people in our industry, either now or at one time, feel this way. And I did it one time. I still do I have still have impostor syndrome. But you wrote for years, I didn’t think I was worthy, worthy, I wasted. I wasted a lot of time feeling disempowered, or convinced that somehow my dreams didn’t matter. Or they were too big, or they were too big or not big enough. I even had moments where I thought, Who do you think you are to have those? Who do you think you are to have those dreams? How dare you think that you deserve that kind of money success or recommend recognition, recognition? And then you went on to say, How did I know I thought so poorly of myself? The answer was in my action. means relationships, and what I was willing to accept. You know, and I think that so many people in our industry feel that way. And sometimes I think they’re just afraid. And maybe even we’ve been told not to dream so big or not to, or just to accept what they got. Is that where that came from? Give us a little more on your dream. Yeah. Yeah.
Jerilynn Stephens 10:22
100%? I mean, how many times did I hear like, you know, I didn’t, I didn’t meet my husband until I was 37. So how many times did I hear? I think your expectations are a little high. Maybe you should lower your expectations. And I’m like, why am I and then I started thinking, well, maybe I should, in my not worthy of having someone who loves me and treats me well. And like, we’re a team, and, you know, all of these things that I wanted. And I have no, you know, what I would rather be alone than in an unhealthy relationship. Yeah. And so I met my husband when I was 37. And we’ve been together 17 years. Nice.
Chris Baran 11:09
And I hear that from so many people about that, you got it. And I know you go on to this. And um, maybe I don’t want to jump too far ahead here because I know you have areas and then we talked about negativity, etc. But I think that sometimes you’ve just got to get rid of those people, or just learn how to deal with people that bring negativity in your life. So yeah, and I think that’s it some that’s where that, that negativity to our towards ourselves comes from. So but I love that part that you put right in the introduction. So let’s go into when you say figure, that’s number one, the want number one, F? Yeah, what does that mean? What What should people be aware of? For that,
Jerilynn Stephens 11:51
you have to figure out what you want. Like that is a number one thing you need to do is figure out what you want. And I even you know, I even go into, if it helps you to figure out what you don’t want first, at least then you can start there. Yeah. You know, you don’t want to let’s just say in a salon, you don’t want to work for someone else. You don’t want to work with negative people, you know, so you know, all of these things. And so that will help you figure out exactly where you want what you want. Or even with relationships, or, you know, being a mom or a dad, you know, what kind of, you know, job do you want, or career that will allow you to be present? Yeah. So,
Chris Baran 12:57
like board that goes, because you said look at if I don’t if I, if I know what I don’t want, actually just finding the opposite of that is kind of permission for you to say, Oh, well, then this is what I want, especially if we feel that we’re like, I love what you’re talking about being you deserve to get what you get, you know, in your career, etc. And I think that sometimes we don’t think we deserve it, then we just don’t go for it. We don’t ask for it. We don’t feel that it’s that we’re worthy of it. And that’s what I love that you talk about in there. You in that in that figure you said. You said I just want to quote it here. dive below the surface of what you want to understand the bigger picture. Is that? Is that what we’re talking about here? Or is there more to that?
Jerilynn Stephens 13:46
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, dig deep. And that’s where like writing and journaling and just really get into see my fi backwards kind of all flow together. So like, even if you’re not exactly sure what you want, if you start feeling the way you want to feel, when you have what it is you want when you figure that out, and you start having faith knowing that you’re going to get the life that you want or the career or money or whatever it is, right. And so that just using the five F’s to help you get to the place of figuring out what you want, if that all makes sense. Because sometimes it’s really hard to dig below the surface of exactly what you want. You know,
Chris Baran 14:42
no one like, you know, I feel I need it, but I haven’t been to a therapist yet. But I think when I think of what they do, that’s what that’s kind of what they do and they it can’t always, always happen in one session. So what the TV’s telling me, but that’s what I hear that you’re saying Right now is for sometimes when we, we go after goal setting or say what was it? What is that really want to do they, it’s like a sit down one time sitting for 15 or 20 minutes. And then miraculously, your life is supposed to be exposed to you. But that’s not the way life works. You know, sometimes you got to spend some time thinking about it. And
Jerilynn Stephens 15:22
go ahead, I was gonna say, and that’s really helpful if you have a friend, or a partner that you can open up to, because not everybody wants to see you succeed, first of all, so if it’s someone that you can trust, and you can kind of like that therapist, right, and you’re sort of bouncing ideas off from each other, and, and where you want to head in your life. That’s very helpful, too, and figuring out what you want. Yeah,
Chris Baran 15:49
and I, you’ve obviously, and for those of you who may not have watched the previous episode, I invite you to go back and listen to the ones where Jerilynn and I were talking about your career in and in the, in the voice and for talking about Shark Tank, etc. So you’ve had some amazing people around you that are that are billionaires that you can seek advice and counsel from to write was, did they have any input in helping you with this? Or did and when I say that not writing the book, but in just in quick little things that they can tell you that you’ve learned from them?
Jerilynn Stephens 16:30
Oh, my gosh, I mean, first of all, Mark, Damon and Robert and Kevin to I mean, because I work with the males, the men. They’re just all so interesting. And like they don’t it’s like Robert said, one time that I heard I’ve been on that show, I think Buelow I’m gonna say 1213 years, something like that. At one time, at one point, Robert said, You got to dress for the job that you want, not the job you have, right? And I was like, Oh, yes, that’s what I’m gonna do. And so, at Shark Tank, I always do dress nicer. But I like pop blazers, and I’m like, you know, dressing business, right? And it just felt better. And those guys are always I mean, Damon, he’s my, my people shark, right. He’s like, always wanting to shoot video to get out information. He did that with my ovarian cancer symptoms and, and stuff that’s on my Instagram. He also did a video with him and I in my book when it was coming out, you know, he’s just like, so he wants to promote everyone. And Mark is just lovely. You know, he’ll answer any questions for me that I need or want. So he’s just been lovely. Yeah, it’s just, I try not to take advantage of being around them. Because it is. I want to be professional, because I’m their hairstylist. But I also soak I’m a sponge, when I’m around all of those sharks, because they are so smart, and so intelligent, and I just want to absorb everything. Tonight, I got invited to an event. From Daymond. John, I don’t even know. I mean, it’s just so I’m like, How did I get invited? And it’s like, he’s handpicked, like investors, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, and it’s kind of like a mastermind mingling. And I said to my husband, I’m like, How did I get invited to this? He’s like,
Chris Baran 18:52
I can tell you why. In the universe, and because you’re you deserve to be there and but I am sensing what you go through. What I go through to is like, all of a sudden, even though we and this is what I love about you, is that you write about it, but it we all have our own foibles, too, we can write about this stuff, we know what it is, but sometimes we can fall back into our own trap of disbelief, you know, and I know that he invited he would not have invited you if you didn’t weren’t worthy of being there. And I think everybody else that’s listening or watching right now would know that, but we tend to think that somehow maybe we just lucked out and got there but I know that you didn’t. But with that, I mean he had a lot of focus on getting the people he wanted there and I want to jump into the focus of what Step two was, because I know you said these intermingle and they all happen at the same time, but just to give some focus on focusing this my command the English language is absolutely astounding, you with it, but what is it in focus? What are you What do you people that you really get down to focusing what it is you need one?
Jerilynn Stephens 20:06
Right? It’s it focus is like, we’re, we’re, we’re focus goes energy flows, yep. Right. So if you’re focusing on positivity, and you know, where you’re wanting to go and doing, you know, just focus on the life that you want. So if you’re focusing, this is what I tell people, it’s like, wherever you’re focusing is what you’re going to attract more of, right? So sometimes we get into our heads, and we start getting a little negative and, and, you know, then all of a sudden, you’re, you’re, you’re seeing that snowball effect of like, then you’re surrounding yourself by everybody who’s in this negative mindset. And it’s like, you’re like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, we all know better than this. We got to stop. And just really go back to where we’re headed, and what we want, and staying positive, even though that can be really hard sometimes. Yeah. So I mean, I guess, you know, I a perfect example that I share about is, you know, my son, you know, he was like 12 years old at the time, and he plays baseball, and he kept focusing on the home run. He was like a heavy hitter, you know, and so he kept striking out, and I was like, Dude, you need quit focusing on the home run. Like, you just focus on the ball. Yeah, yeah, you know, and focus on the ball, not the outcome. And that’s really that that right there teaches me so much. It’s like, why I can’t get I got to focus on what’s ahead of me, like where I’m pivoting right now in my career. So it’s like, focus on that, rather than the big scary outcome that my god, am I worthy of that that right, just focus on what’s directly in front of me.
Chris Baran 22:12
You know what, I think that is so important right now, especially focusing on like, I can’t remember exactly, I remember exactly the words, but I remember in the book, you’re talking about positivity, and love, and self love, and, and those things, those factors that keep you and even you were talking what I loved about him, which I believe so wholeheartedly in his gratitudes. And just and being able to out loud, say that, that people are things that you’re grateful you’re grateful for? Do you think that what we went through from 20 to MIT, possibly even right now, has shifted people’s mindset from made might have been more positive before, but all of a sudden, there’s a lot more, I noticed a lot more negativity in our industry. Do you think that that came partly from there? And how do we does this help us get out of it?
Jerilynn Stephens 23:05
Well, I think our industry got hit pretty hard, right? At least the salon end of it did. I in the television and film did not get hit at during that time. But we’re getting hit now. With the because we’ve gotten looming strikes and all this productions leaving the country and I’ve never been slower in my life. But like, Yes, and that’s where I it’s like you constantly have to go back to yes, you have to change your mindset you have to do you have to get into gratitude. It’s like, it’s not like I’m not like, Oh my God, my life is always amazing. And like, I’m so grateful. I’m so blessed. Hashtag blast. Now. I don’t even write that. It’s like, I am right now really getting back into the basics. Because now I am kind of in a struggling, pivoting. I’m not gonna say struggling, I’m in a challenging obstacle of changing and pivoting my career a bit. Right. So it’s, it’s constantly getting back into the basics of gratitude. And yes, I like to say 10 gratitudes a day of what I’m grateful for, you know, and if I get into love, like love rather than fear, that helps me get out of it much quicker. And, and breathing, you know, breathing love and faith.
Chris Baran 24:42
You know, the I think that, you know, I just had a revelation there probably I noticed the negativity in our industry because that’s where I am. And and I just I got that revelation when you said, you know, it wasn’t so much that for you, but it was just right now All based on what’s happening to you right now. And I think that’s, I noticed in the industry that it’s sometimes that negativity can get there. But I think that most people that I know that are successful at what they do, whether that’s, you know, just minimally successful in their major success in their mind, but other people don’t know who they are, or people that are like, leaders of the pack in our industry, such as yourself, and then, but they’re moving forward, they’re always trying to keep their, their mindset moving forward and trying to keep the negativity out. I think that’s a critical part of what we do. Because, personally, you know, even I had a little bit of a health thing going on a while back, and I just found myself getting really down on myself wondering and questioning what everything that was going on in my life and what I wanted to do, and, and then all of a sudden, I just went, you know, look, I went through that once or twice before in my life. And I just said, look at all I want to do is love what I do have fun at what I do. And then if yes, I think validation is in there, or at least maybe it’s part of that’s for me that I need. But as soon as I shifted my brain, it was like an a just an immediate turnaround. Yeah, so I really do think that it is just sometimes the focus can happen in just a flash of the of the eye just by shifting your mind going back to gratitudes, etc. Now, let’s jump into the third one that you’re fearless. Tell us what you mean by that one. Because that’s, I think, is the hardest part for a lot of people.
Jerilynn Stephens 26:32
Well, for sure, because fearless, I actually put the F fearless in front of action, because I used to, like you just got to take action. But honestly, what prevents us from taking action? It’s fear. Fear usually tells us we’re not good enough. You can’t do that. You’re like, what are people going to think? And, you know, you know, always afraid of what, yeah, people are gonna judge me. So you got to put fear less Be fearless and just drive through it. Right? And yeah, you and the action, lets the universe know you’re serious about what you want to do. Yeah. You know, with the when I was going to before the book was written, I had actually wanted to talk to beauty school students. And I just started like, Okay, well, how can I do that? And so I, like reached out, even though I’m like, Oh my gosh, I’m never public. Oh, like, that’s scary. But I’m, I said to myself, You know what, you’re gonna go for it. And I wanted to work with a brand company. And so I reached out to some companies that I wanted to work with, some of them were not answering me. And some of them. One was like, Well, what do you have in mind? And I was like, I don’t know. And so, um, but that led, that action of reaching out to those companies, led to me working with an extension company that I did this beauty, cosmetology Beauty School, for free, right, just to demonstrate how to use these easy updo extensions that she had. And I loved the company, and I did it as a favor. And she’s like, and you can talk about your dream big stuff. And I was like, oh, okay, that sounds fun. But I met Jim Cox, and from Beauty cast network. And I just started talking to him what I wanted to do and speak to kids and beauty school students about my, basically how I got to where I’m at, through figuring out what I want focus, fearless action, feel it, and faith. He was all in. And so he called me and he’s the one just by me saying, yes, taking the action to those other companies brought in this other company I didn’t even think about, then the universe is like, here’s this now you’re gonna like, here’s your connections you’re gonna make. So I still talk to Jim and he put me in touch. He’s, he’s amazing. He put me in touch with so many people, including because I’m like, well, if I’m going to speak in front of people, I need a speaking coach. And so he hooked me up with Suzanne Mulroy who used to work for Milady and so she put together a you know, Keynote, speaking, slideshow and all of this stuff, and that’s just how the universe works. Right? It is you tell it what you want to do, and you take the action. It’s simple, but it’s so scary. That’s why you got to be fearless. Yeah.
Chris Baran 30:09
And I know what I loved is just like it all started with a yes. Admit, you know, we’re most people say well, no, I can’t do that you just started with a yes just sometimes it’s just what do you call this wild abandon just I’ll jump in there. I think I hated that expression when I first heard it, but it actually is true. People said, fake it till you make it. But I think that you have to have some content in there, you have to have something worthy of listening to I think when you fake it just means well, I’m gonna throw myself in the fire, hope that everything works out. And then you’ll pull yourself through and I believe you do.
Jerilynn Stephens 30:46
Yeah, well, that’s just like when a producer says something to me. And, oh, we want all of this, blah, blah, blah. And I’m like, okay, and then I’m like, how my gosh, how are we going to do this? And then, you know, you collaborate? So it’s just like, say Yes, yep. And then figure it out later. One of my friends he called me from Atlanta. He was like, Oh, my God, I just got asked to be a department head of this, like independent film. I’m like you said yes. Right. He’s like, I haven’t said anything yet. I’m so nervous. And I’m like, first of all, you’re gonna say yes. And then I’m gonna teach you everything you need to know. Right over the phone.
Chris Baran 31:24
Good. Good. Nice. Good coaching, by the way, good coaching. By the way. This episode is sponsored by the salon associate accelerator from trainers, playbook.com. Are you struggling with the time and cost of associate training? Do you feel like your salon is running you will get your associates on the floor, all with 90% Less time from you. So you can get back to building your business. Get them world class design, finishing color, and client care skills they’ll use every day for the rest of their career. While you focus on realizing your vision, go to trainers playbook.com and get the salon associate accelerator. And now back to the show. So I just want to jump back something you said that and give it some interest, the you said that about about the your brain is always talking to say I’m not worthy, and everything that you can’t do. I just did some little bit of research on it. And there’s actually a part of your brain, it’s actually called the amygdala. And there’s a most people heard of a lizard brain before, you know, and the lizard brain is that part of your brain that’s been, you know, evolved into you and always wants to keep you safe. It Oh, it’s it’s not risky. It is risk adverse. It doesn’t want you to take risks, it wants you to be safe. And that’s what tends to hold us back in life. And whereas the prefrontal cortex that you have is your, what I call wizard brains, havior wizard brain, your lizard brain is the wizard brain is what makes your wise decisions. And you’re like you did you say, Okay, I’m gonna make this digit decision. And the little brain that was lizard brain goes, I don’t know how lizard talks. But it would say no, you can’t do that, whatever. But that’s kind of what that fight that’s always going on in our brain. And I think that that, if we understand that it is just a reaction from our brain, but it’s not true. And I think that’s the biggest thing for people to get is if they understand that that’s not true, and you can still do it. And when you’re fearless. In your book you wrote, you wrote down in there, how you just, you’ve just got to do it. And and, and I think that’s, that’s something you’ve just got to jump on, like you told your friend. I heard somebody else talk about knowledge destroys fear. And it is true to a degree. But only if you practice what you’re doing. Right? If you like, if you just say like, to me, I’m terrified of heights, and I still, I’m not brave enough to go bungee jumping or anything. But if you were bungee jumping, and the first time you did it, you’d be terrified, knees would be shaking. But if you had to do it every day, and if you did it every day, after a week, you’d gone well, there’s nothing you just jump off and come back. If you did it after a couple of months, every day, you’d probably be bored. So it’s just the practice that you’ve got. And what I love that you wrote in the book was about education. And how it you know, educate yourself on everything. Could you speak just a little bit more to that?
Jerilynn Stephens 34:42
Well, yeah, I mean, it always keeps you evolving. You know, when you’re educating yourself on no matter what it is, um, yeah, I just especially in our industry, it’s changing so much, right. And even now, I mean, not I don’t know how it’s gonna affect the salon industry, but AI is gonna affect the film industry tremendously. And it’s like, rather than like, being all, you know, negative about it and nervous and you know, in fear, it’s like, well, how can I use this to my advantage? Exactly? You know, and I well, I mean, so I downloaded an app. GBT chat. And I started using that to help me. And then I’m seeing more and more people doing like, makeup through AI, like, one of my girlfriends, she’s a makeup artist. And she’s an influencer online as well. And she was like, using, you know, to show someone on their face, like how to contour your nose and stuff with that. And like, so they’re she’s taking something that is inevitable, and utilizing it to her advantage, right. And so that’s what we have to do to is we just constantly have to be educating ourselves.
Chris Baran 36:08
Yeah, yeah. And that’s the part of the evolution to take you from one area to the next, isn’t it? You’ve seen that in people where it’s like that old thing. I think I heard one of my teachers said it, you’re either you’re either a burn on a burn up or a burnout. And if you’re, you know, burnouts are the ones that do the same thing over and over again. And eventually, the the, the trend passes you by the burn up is the one that just is, you know, is they start off and they just end up in a ball of flames. And then nobody hears them again. But the, the burn ons are the people like you, the ones that that you’ve you’ve weathered if you’ve weathered the flame, but then as as, as the problems hit you as things change, you tend to evolve into what you do. And that’s what we had a little meeting before. Our before we had this for people listening and watching and we were talking a bit about that how your plan to evolve more in what you do as well. So yeah, I think that’s critical. So annfield Give us like a little bit more. I think we’ve been finding out how these all fit together. But feeling how, what does that if you had to explain feel to our industry, what would that be?
Jerilynn Stephens 37:18
Well, I mean, first of all, I feel is feeling was really difficult for me in the beginning. When I first read the book, excuse me, your life is waiting, it was all about how you feel. And I had just gotten sober. So like I said, feeling was like, didn’t feel good to me. So just like starting to feel like for me, it was it was I am a Hollywood hairstylist. So like, what would what would I feel like if I was actually like that? And I just felt like, yes, like I am successful. I’m, you know, talented and ambitious and like all of these feelings, how would I feel? And so for me, like helping people is such a big deal for me. I love to speak and educate people on hair thinning hair loss, scalp health, my industry. I love to do that. So like how does that make me feel? That makes me feel like I’m helping people. Like, I feel great doing that. And so the just getting whatever it is if it’s like, oh, laying on a beach in the Bahamas, you know, how do you feel when that’s going on? Do you need to bring that into your moment? Whatever it is that like walking up a trail of a mountain with like, nature is so peaceful and and beautiful and like how does that make you feel? You know, so you have to find even if you fake it till you make it like you said find something that puts you in like that time that you’re in love you know when you when you spot like when I found for my husband the butterflies and like that excitement and like, oh, you texted me and you know of course if it’s some guy that you don’t want to texting you he’s texting me all the time. Oh my God is so annoying. But my husband was texting me all the time. And I’m like, amazing. How, how does that make you feel?
Chris Baran 39:30
Yeah, because the I think inside there you were talking about the visualization process that goes along with it because I think that soon as you you impart one of those emotions that feeling that you have you also start to visualize and see where it is that you want to go and I think if you can put them to oftentimes when we’re talking about people going on to stage and people that get stage fright or get nervous or whatever. I remember my teacher or Blair singer taught me this years ago when if you Just imagine if you say, courage, I have to remember the words right now courage is courage. I imagined myself in here courage 100% Courageous 100% Love. And oh Lord. The third one is I imagined myself with my, my wife’s hand, that’s my love courageous is when I’m, I’m rappelling off the side of a mountain. Oh and successful. And that’s a time when you were successful in your in your life. So if you can visit when he always taught us when, if you can take when you when you’re what’s the time when your life when you were 100%? Courageous? And then you visualize yourself and I had that flood back to me when I was reading your book? Because you you talked about? What does it feel like? What does it what is the smells that are around you? What what’s happening around you? What does it look like? And if you do that, with each of the experiences that you have, with courage, love and success, then he always told me that if you just walked on stage, and you were 100%, successful, 100% loved and 100% Courageous, you wouldn’t have to think about anything else, because you would have those three things with you. So I love when you were talking about in the book about feeling, etc. But you know, let me ask you a simple when you talk about this stuff, do you write it down as well? Or is it more a part of you that just says, when it comes to manifesting? Is it? I manifest it? I’m thinking it all the time? Some people write down stuff, some people don’t? What what’s your what’s your method?
Jerilynn Stephens 41:39
Um, I do enjoy writing things down. Because I really think that putting pen to paper really is better than you know. I mean, writing it in your phone notes is fine. But really putting your pen to paper is so huge, like you would you can’t imagine how much actually comes out of your pen, you know, when you just keep writing. So I do like that. I don’t do it every day by any means. It’s like I like I recently wrote down exactly what I wanted for this year. And I’m also open to whatever’s for the, you know, for the best. Yeah, right. Yeah. So,
Chris Baran 42:31
you know, it’s interesting when you’re talking about I love the journaling is I’ve never really mastered it. And I’m always in such awe of people that can. And, but I know what I what I have done in the past is where I’ve said, here’s the things that I want out of what I do. And sometimes, I’ll, you know, I made a commitment to myself that I was going to do it weekly, but sometimes I don’t only get around to it once a month or whatever. But I think that the fact of the getting the thoughts in your brain, you know, cuz sometimes people will talk about manifesting. And if you don’t understand what manifesting is, it can be tough. For people that are I always think that logic minded, I’ve got to write everything down, here’s the path I want to get. But the reason why I think that your book is so necessary, is to put those two together. Like, here’s how you can get some things you write down, here’s what I really want. But then you don’t just leave that alone, you got to walk away believing it, and looking forward to it as well in your life.
Jerilynn Stephens 43:31
Yeah, well, you know, what’s so great about that is like, and this is where it’s like, you want to give up control. Okay? So that’s the faith part. Okay, so you want to give up control, because whatever is the highest good for you, and everybody around you, right? So when you decide what you want, and you start creating it, and like, you’re, you know, you’re doing your meditation and visualizing, and you’re feeling it, it’s like, I’m open, like, I have this vision of what my life is going, where it’s headed right now. But I’m also like, universe, whatever is for the highest good of me and everybody around me. Right? And I, you that’s where you have to give up control. Because when you control then you are not allowing
Chris Baran 44:30
there was some I’m just looking through my notes in my book here because it was there was an experience that you had actually when it is on faith. And I I loved in there then you said you had my own relationship was face was evolving and that I’ve kind of jumping into the next into your fifth one right now. And you were talking about faith and I think faith to a lot of people can mean a lot of different things. But then you said your your sponsor told you to meditate and pray and then You talked about the how hard that was the beginning. Can you? Can you talk to that point?
Jerilynn Stephens 45:05
Yeah, I mean, that. I mean, honestly, I mean, I didn’t really have I didn’t grow up with any sort of spirituality or religion. And so it was, you know, a lot of yeah, my sponsor was like, Yeah, because I’ll toss up programs. There’s a lot of, you know, praying and stuff. And I was like, oh, gosh, this is really difficult for me. I don’t know if there’s a God, I don’t you know, it was like, I believe I can believe in universe and energy. Okay. So she’s like fun, but I want you to start praying, and just act as if. And I was like, Fine. I will. Because like I said, I was desperate. And I just started praying, and then something came over me. And I was like, I knew I wasn’t alone. And even now, I like when I’m like, yesterday, I was driving, I was speaking at a salon, about scalp health and stuff. And I’m driving out there, and I was going through, you know, my gratitudes. And then like, my visualization, and I got this chill. And I was like, you know, like, yes, when I get those chills, or goosebumps, I’m like, Ooh, yeah. Okay, yeah. It’s common, it’s common, and just be open. Right? And that’s kind of how it is. And I think we all get that, right. Like, we all will occasionally be like, Oh, that, yep. Okay, that’s just like the universe, or whatever you believe in giving you that nudge of like, we got you. Yeah, we got you.
Chris Baran 46:56
Yeah, to me, it’s almost like when I hear that, because I get those two, I get that chill in there. And I get it kind of whim, when I feel that there’s something out there given me a hand and little nudge along to let me know that I am good enough to do this, I can do this. And then that’s that spark of self belief. You know, whether it comes whether some people believe that it comes from you within, or whether universe etc, I believe that you have to have some outside, a little bit of outside help to help you with that as well, whether it’s your own mind, universe, whatever. But to me that, that, that that part’s really, really important that you have faith, even if you just feel, look, I just believe in me, you know, I believe in me enough to be able to do this. So that was great. And I love it. Here’s the part in your afterward. And I got I have to look this up again, because I wrote, I highlighted this in here. Because I think this is what was really helpful for me in this book. Because you wrote down there, this is the five F words into action. And then you want to take it, I’m gonna skip down a couple lines. And then you say, you want to say whatever is comfortable for you is right. The key is to is to let go of the outcome and allow the universe energies to align with your desires. You know, and then you went on to say, I never said it was easy, but it’s simple. So yeah, that was so go ahead.
Jerilynn Stephens 48:27
I was gonna say, you know, it’s so crazy as this morning, I was doing a meditation. And by the way, my meditations, like five minutes, right? Like, that’s all I can do. But I knew we were coming on here today with this book. And I was just and I also was like, I’m, what is it? I just was like, what is it I need to hear today? Right from my book, and I opened it to that page. And I was expecting to, because, you know, I know where faith and feel are. And I know where fearless action is. And so I meant to open it up kind of in the middle. And somehow it opened up to that page near the back. Right. And then I read that page. And I was like, of course. Yeah, it’s all of it. Yeah. Just relax.
Chris Baran 49:19
Yeah. Yeah, announce that. Well, first, you know, that, that, you know, I loved it. I’m gonna go back to the beginning where it was, it was a quick and simple read. And it really was to the point there was, it left out the fluff, and it gave me the messages that I need to do. And so, to me, I really feel that some of the things that I needed to do that I haven’t done, this book has helped me to get back on track to do that. So that was, it was just I think, and again, it’s available on Amazon for those of you watching. There’s the book The F five F words to manifesting your life and I highly suggest So it is a great read Jerilynn I just have one quick thing to you is that is what in your life right now? What what is it that places you want to go? Like? What is it that you would really love to do next? And we’re How are you going to use this to get where you really want to go next?
Jerilynn Stephens 50:22
Gosh, well, I mean, I always want to keep the voice in Shark Tank as long as like I will ride those shows for as long as they’ll have me. Okay, those are my favorite shows. But I also am on a mission of scalp health, non surgical hair solutions among my extensions for finer hair. But really educating hair stylists about all of this is where I want to be because, like with the non surgical hair solutions, it’s like with people with more permanent hair loss, we think of men, right? Like the the what is it just a men’s hair club, right. But I want to focus more on educating hairstylist for the woman that’s sitting in their chair, going through chemo hair loss, going through thyroid, there’s now injectable diet, weight loss, you know, cause hair loss. So we want solutions that are going to help with the scalp. And also with them feeling confident. So by putting, you know, hair pieces, the biggest thing for me is a lot of pieces look wiggy to me, right? And so that is something that I really want to work on, on how not to have say, you know, everybody’s calling these toppers, right? I hate that word, but the toppers. Now, I want something in there, and I am educated getting educated on something that’s more permanent that you do every like four to six weeks, yes. That you can swim and shower and have a look. But sometimes they look a little wiggy. So like I really am trying to excuse me to focus on the styling of it too. Right? How do you make this look natural? Yeah. So that’s kind of where I’m headed. i It’s really because of I went through ovarian cancer, and it just opened up my mind to how hair is our confidence.
Chris Baran 52:38
Yeah, you know, what you, you just make me think of another industry great rate in there. And I was chatting with Steven Moody the other day. And he was talking about that. He went with a company, a scissor company. And he kept working with them, because they wanted to put his name on the scissors. And he said, I won’t put the name on the scissors until I email you make me a pair of scissors that are exactly the way that I needed and he had it down to the weight and the links and so on. And then he put his name on it and I see there’s what I perceive for you is in create that system that you can have with has the right amount of weight, the right amount of you know, lace, I’m not sure what’s all in base, I’m sure I’m assuming that they’re lace bases that you glue on. And you know and when I don’t mean krazy glue or the or, or hot glue guns etc, the proper glue that goes along with that, but there’s your there’s another area for you to do and build on is to build your systems with that company that has Jerry Lynn’s name on and then go from there.
Jerilynn Stephens 53:46
Yes, I hear you.
Chris Baran 53:48
I hear you. Jerilynn I just want to thank you one more time for being on here and and sharing with them, sharing with the people how the book came about and just quite frankly, just for being so candid with us so that I always believed that if if people know that sometimes our lives haven’t always been perfect, then they know that they can go on to greatness as well.
Jerilynn Stephens 54:13
Of course and I’m always I always answer like if somebody DMS me or emails me I always answer. I’m not one of those who’s like, oh my god, I can’t believe somebody’s asking me
Chris Baran 54:24
what’s just what’s the DM? Where did they go to for that?
Jerilynn Stephens 54:28
Well on Instagram, I have a DM right so it’s my name Jerilynn Stephens which is hard to spell so you could just say Hollywood hairstylist and I’m that’s me. Yeah, so Hollywood hair stylists on Facebook as well. And yeah, so but if you do, you can always email me for my if you don’t want to dam and you want to email there’s a button for that too. Yeah, yeah, you got to.
Chris Baran 54:58
You’ve got to contact you have your call. Contact and talk to right there. So, Jerilynn, thank you again so much. I really appreciate you. I love what you’re doing for our industry. And I know that our cross our paths will cross again.
Jerilynn Stephens 55:13
Thank you so much for having me. I’m just like honored, so honored. Well,
Chris Baran 55:19
the pleasure is just to know You has been a real pleasure in my life too. So I just want to say thank you. Thank you.
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